Living boldly, more courageously, more confidently has an infinite and stable source. A source that is independent of who you’re with or how you feel. The source is ‘your truth’.
When you know your truth you have an unwavering reference point through which to filter opportunities and challenges. Over time, and with practice, those congruent and authentic choices become the basis of your incredible life.
When we are authentic and congruent, self-expression is simply a natural representation of who we are and not something we have to become ‘better at’.
But for most of us, connection with our truth is a vague memory, something we unwittingly relinquished in our early years. We traded our truth believing others knew better. When faced with the heavy expectation of family, friends, colleagues and the values our society delivered to us as ‘the truth’, we buckled.
Consider our context for marriage and the expectation that it is ‘till death do us part’. That may have been appropriate a hundred years ago when people married at 20 and died by mid 40’s, but babies born in 2016 have a life expectancy of 130 years. It is simply dishonest for us to continue toeing the line, encouraging young adults to sign a contract of commitment that has an infinite expiry date.
Surely, we now accept and encourage human beings to grow, learn and change. In doing so, we must acknowledge that over time, individuals committed to each other through marriage, might find themselves on different paths.
Having a context for celebrating a great marriage and a vocabulary for acknowledging when it is done, would allow uncoupling with mutual respect, support and care. Without a new context we are supporting the continued need to make one party ‘wrong’ and drag the other through a brutal and demeaning process of fault and blame.
It is time for the contract of marriage to catch up to a more progressive society, but for that to happen each of us needs to investigate our truth and start practicing it.
Taking time to explore our thoughts and feelings will guide us to our truth, being curious and non-judgmental will help the process. How complex and long our journey depends on the extent to which we have been at the effect of others and our willingness to suspend long-held beliefs.
At crucial junctures we will have the choice to be the truth slayer or truth sayer. The truth sayers will be the ones to lead a new paradigm for relationships, workplaces, communities and society. And in the process will live a life they love as a courageous, bold and confident human beings.
