What is so frikkin scary about having a conversation?
Really, there are all sorts of honest, challenging, difficult conversations that I’d prefer not to have, but I have them anyway. Why? because otherwise I leave a whole lot of mess ‘out there’ and if it’s out there, it’s also ‘in here’.
By here, I mean over here weighing me down with guilt and shame. It will invade my thoughts and heart and I’ll drag it around with me for the rest of my life and quite frankly I don’t want that as my life. I don’t want to pull decades of depressed, suppressed and repressed emotion into my present and allow it to define my future.
Here’s a little about me
- I’m a big picture person and I’m not attentive to details.
- I’m an optimist and I believe I create the whole of my reality.
- I go through life looking to have real and honest conversations that transform my life and the lives of those around me.
- I’m skilled at it, I love it, and I make plenty of mistakes along the way.
- I readily share my vulnerabilities along with my successes.
- I’m vocal about all the above.
So why is it that I feel people who know me don’t hear me?
Every relationship, whether business or personal is susceptible to pain. Our ability to work through that pain is the very thing that allows us to heal the relationship and to heal ourselves. But it appears we’d rather be right than heal, we’re more comfortable with pain than we are with salvation.
And I just don’t get it.
I invite you all to call me out on my stuff, in fact I urge you to call me on my stuff. I want to live an extraordinary life, one that is exhilarating and joyous, self-expressed and congruent, one that gives love and can receive love. If I communicate poorly, remember something incorrectly, take action too swiftly I want to know and I rely on the magnificent people around me to love me enough to tell me.
But … and there is a but.
Please do NOT email me with your judgements and conclusions. Please don’t text them either. Be brave and loving and have the conversation with me, as tough and challenging as it may be.
We have plenty of one-sided conversations going on in the world (think Trump) to demonstrate the detrimental effect of this approach. Learning and developing our skill in holding a safe space so others can share an opinion, no matter how different to ours, is a worthy pursuit. Pick up the phone, start the difficult conversation and let your authentic loving voice do the rest.
Take a deep breath, trust yourself and know you’ll be okay. Pick up the phone, I promise, it will transform your world.